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#26 2014-03-06 11:30:19

xemoxrockerx
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Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

Yaaaay~yaaaay~<3


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#27 2014-03-06 17:38:32

subway1
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Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

Ohmygosh, this is so amazing! I cannot wait for the next part! You really have improved! Hmm... I wonder who will go! I hope it's not me! :)


The Mauraders were alive that night, all four of them, you know, but it wasn't the same; only three were true and one was gone, and the one that was gone shouldn't have been. But they were together, again, and in that moment, they knew, they would never say goodbye.
 

#28 2014-03-13 03:51:37

shiva
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Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

Great story! Can't wait for the next chapter.


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#29 2014-03-28 10:32:03

sani
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Registered: 2010-07-28
Posts: 804

Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

This is just AWESOME, you're talented, can't wait to read moreeeeeeee, keep up :) love


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#30 2014-03-31 23:08:35

spiderwick9
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From: The Glorious PNW
Registered: 2011-02-27
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Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

March 7, 11:23 A. M.

  Agent Angel stepped off the private jet. She turned to the blonde agent tailing behind her. "An escapist, and a gunman, off in Germany to rescue three agents. This… is strange." Agent Angel said.
  Agent Lilll shrugged. "What can be done?"
  Agent Angel adjusted her earring. "You there Lieutenant?"
  "Yes," Lieutenant Dark said. "Now, I need to remind you not to do anything too drastic. Agent Spider is otherwise busy, and I can't explain to you how her devices work. So try not to get into any trouble."
  "We just need a hotel." Agent Lilll laughed. "It's nothing that'll get us killed."
  The Lieutenant back at base frowned. "Things have been rather topsy-turvy for us, lately. Just keep a sharp eye out for anything suspicious."
  "That's why I'm here." Agent Lilll reminded.
  Agent Angel gestured for them to leave. It was time to get payback.

March 9, 11: 56 P. M.
  Agent Spider sat down at her desk, and let a sigh slip from her lips. She gripped at the cold rag in her hand.
  Lieutenant Dark turned around. "Welcome back, Agent- Agent Spider, What happened?" she exclaimed.
  The Agent smiled weakly, wiping at the bloody scar on her cheek. "Mr. Farik didn't take kindly to our suggestions."
  "So he hit you?" she asked incredulously.
  "Actually, he pulled a gun out, I hit his arm, he dropped the gun, then he hit me." Agent Spider put her head set on.
The Lieutenant sighed, and slipped her head phones on. "Would've been nice to have Agent Angel here." she played with the cuff of her jacket sleeve.
  Agent Spider turned the speakers on. "Hello? Agent Angel, Agent Lilll? Do you copy?"
  "I copy, Agent Spider." Agent Angel answered.
  "So do I." Agent Lilll said.
  "Alright, are you in position?" Agent Spider asked, opening something on her computer.
  "Yes, sir." they said in unison.
  "What's that, Agent Spider?" the Lieutenant asked, not bothering to cover her microphone.
  Agent Spider smiled, then winced at the movement hurting her cheek. "Agent Rocker sure is an angel. She already hacked into the security cameras here, that's what this is."
  Agent Angel cleared her throat impatiently.
  "Sorry, Agent Angel." Lieutenant Dark muttered.
  Agent Spider pursed her lips. "Anyway, Agents, you're at a high security prison, here. There's only on way to get in, and if you do it wrong, you'll die."
  Agent Lilll sighed. Way to be an optimist. She thought.
  "Alright, Agents, find your way to the north side, on the sixth floor. You'll have do it without your grappling hook, as I trust you left it behind for saving space. I'll instruct you from there."
  Agent Angel inwardly groaned, looking for the best place to climb up. She pulled on her black gloves, and grabbed the wall, letting the spikes on the fingers drill into thick metal wall. She shifted her weight, making sure it was supporting her, then continued to climb up. She glanced over at Agent Lilll, who was just starting to climb up. "Let's be quick about this, alright? What's that quote? Allons-y?"
  Agent Lilll shot her a death glare. Agent Angel shut up after that.

March 9, 12: 43 A. M.
  Agent Spider leaned back in her chair and folded her legs, a smile painted on her face. She took off her headset and chuckled quietly.
  "What?" the Lieutenant frowned, pulling up her microphone.
  Agent Spider looked at her blankly. "What? Oh! Normally, at this time is when something bad happens for the agents. You know, the calm before the storm."
  Lieutenant Dark studied her emotionlessly. "Agent Spider?"
  The agent looked at her, a tad bit surprised. "Yes, Lieutenant?"
  "We're joining the enemy now. Plans have been arranged."
  "Yes, sir." Agent Spider said, giving a salute, then turning back to the computer.
  Lieutenant Dark laughed. "I'm joking, Keeley." she savored the surprised look on the agent's face. They weren't supposed to call each other by their real names inside their job. Plus, she was just confused. "Keeley, you've always been so loyal to Sarah, and all of the OMD, including me. It will be the death of you."
  Agent Spider's face changed from surprised, to sadness, a smile forced on her face. "I know…Lieutenant," she refrained from calling her superior by her real name. "I've come to accept that. Even if everyone chooses to betray me, I have to be loyal to everyone. Every one of you saved my life."
  The Lieutenant smiled at her. "I know that-"
  She was interrupted by a loud beeping sound, emanating from the alarm system. The colour drained from her face.
  "What is it?" Agent Spider questioned suspiciously.
  "Security has been breached." she reported, standing up.
  Agent Spider looked up in surprise. "Mr. Farik."
  Lieutenant Dark cursed, and pulled a gun from her belt. "Stay here, Agent Spider." she stood from her chair and left the room.
  She closed the door to the isolated room and, to her surprise, found all the lights turned off. She sighed, suddenly grateful that the power box for the room she'd previously been in was located elsewhere.
  The Lieutenant cautiously navigated her way around the dark headquarters, her gun always aimed in front of herself.
  She glanced to her left, and grabbed a fist aiming at her face, dropping her gun. She spun to look at her attacker, and finding, not really to her surprise, the dimly lit, green eyed face of Rikat Farik, just as Agent Spider had said. She thrust out her leg to kick him, landing a hard blow on his side. He stumbled, but recovered quickly, and threw a punch at her collar bone. Lieutenant Dark let the blow land, guessing it wouldn't hurt too much. She stumbled back slightly, but advanced towards the man clad in black immediately. She attempted to throw a roundhouse at his ribcage, althoughhe parried the attack easily, kicking at her thigh. She took a step back, holding her thigh. She glanced down, and snatched her gun from the ground, and pointed it at Mr. Farik.
  She watched the man closely as he froze, then slowly raised his hands.
  Then, to the Lieutenant's surprise, his hands were forced behind his back, and the metal click of handcuffs.  "You alright there, Lieutenant?"
  The woman immediately recognized the voice. "Major Malu," she stated. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you."
  The Major examined her leg. "I don't believe you. Go see Doctor Suri." she said, with a gesture of her chin. "Agent Ion Star is fixing the electricity. I'll go join Agent Spider."
  Lieutenant Dark opened her mouth to object, but the Major put a finger to her lips. "Nopesies. Send anyone you see to deal with this Banana Hater." she said, giving a suggestive glance at Mr. Farik. "Now go, before I have to threaten you!"
  The Lieutenant gave Major Malu a puzzled look. "Isn't that a threa-"
  "Hurry up, Lieutenant!" she shoved the women's shoulder down the hall. "And don't even think about detouring." the Major giggled slightly, watching the woman walk thru the building, limping slightly. She watched her for a moment, then yanked on Mr. Farik's handcuffs. "How about seeing that woman you hit earlier, eh?"
  The man shot a glare at her. "I don't mean to sound like a child, but technically, she hit me first."
  Major Malu's eyes sparkled. "Oooh, I didn't know you're french."
  He rolled his eyes. "How are you even a major?"
  She smiled cheekily. "Long story. Now, let's go."


Welp, I'm really, really sorry this chapter took so long to post. I had terrible procrastination, but ha! I beat the block!
If you're wondering, Mr. Farik is actually a handsome man, and he is NOT the villain of this story, so sorry to disappoint, if you were hoping for that.
And also, Agent Ion Star is infect Fasionstar. If you're out there, Fasionstar.
And there will be what happens to Agent Angel and Lilll in the next chapter.
Well, until next time.

Last edited by spiderwick9 (2014-04-02 17:15:42)


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#31 2014-04-01 13:14:59

darkelfqueen
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From: Where everything else meets
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 51772

Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

O.O wow... I ROCK!!! Seriously though how did you know I hurt my leg over the weekend?!

You improved a lot btw. Can't wait to read what's next!

 

#32 2014-04-01 16:22:53

malu
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From: Hogwarts
Registered: 2010-02-18
Posts: 29741

Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

Loved it <33


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#33 2014-04-02 01:29:59

angelfire
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Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

That was brilliant sad gai

Just one itsy bitsy thing that is bothering me (just grammar)
this sentence:

She attempted to throw a roundhouse at his ribcage, and he parried the attack easily, kicking at her thigh. She took a step back, holding her thigh. She glanced down, and snatched her gun from the ground, and pointed it at Mr. Farik.


The bolded "and", though correctly used, would make the two sentences it's joing flow better with "but" or "however" or "although" or other words that mean that. Just a suggestion since I know you used "but" a lot in the sentences before.


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#34 2014-04-02 01:58:43

goldenlightt
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Registered: 2012-08-10
Posts: 161

Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

I just finished reading all the chapters. It's a great story! Well done!


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#35 2014-04-02 14:49:45

neriah10
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Posts: 3138
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Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

Wonderful Once again! love
But there is one teensy little thing That I wasn't sure about when reading it.
Okay, So it says:

Lieutenant Dark turned around. "Well come back, Agent- Agent Spider, What happened?" she exclaimed.

I Was a Bit confused. Wasn't sure if you meant "Welcome Back." Or "Well, Come back" Or something else.


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#36 2014-04-04 13:19:24

malu
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Registered: 2010-02-18
Posts: 29741

Re: Agents of the OMD (Chapter 1)

I was wondering who doctor Suri was. :D


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