Please DO NOT make my LIFETIME

VOTES UNEVEN

funny puns by sierradane:

• What do you use to cut a Roman Emperor's hair? Caesers.
• I was walking through a quarry… I said to the foreman, "That sure is a big rock." "Boulder," he corrected me. So I stuck out my chest and shouted, "THAT SURE IS A BIG ROCK!"
• Ladies, if he can’t appreciate your fruit jokes, you need to let that mango.
• I asked a Frenchman if he played video games. He said, wii.
• Why did the thief hire a maid to plan his vacation? He wanted a clean getaway.
• It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
• I lost my mood ring and I don't know how to feel about it!
• A crazy wife says to her husband that moose are falling from the sky. The husband says, it’s reindeer.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A Thesaurus.
• I'm close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet; I don't know Y...
• What do sweet potatoes wear to bed? Yammies...
• The doctor told his patient to stop using Q-tips, but it just went in one ear and out the other.
• The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation. It doesn't make any cents.