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I read a few other dolls telling their own story on the boards and it really helped me follow through with my decision to leave behind my Youtube channel and take a break to focus on myself.
For 6 years I made videos on Youtube (under my name: Jasmine Yeung) and I finally made up my mind to leave cleanly last week. It was a hard decision to make, but I thought I owed an explanation to the viewers that still watched my videos.
Throughout most of my teenage years I put up with bullying and rude comments both in real life and online simply by having thick skin and pretending that it didn't bother me, but I fell into a cycle of pretending that things didn't bother me and ended up pushing people away. I had begun to hole myself up and stop socialising with my friends and sharing my feelings with others.
I also began neglecting my health in my late teens because of the comments I received regarding my weight - how 'fat' or 'bloated' my face would look on camera. I was even hospitalised with sepsis as my immune system became increasingly weaker.
I couldn't even be truthful when asked if the demeaning comments bothered me because for some strange reason, if Youtubers can't take criticism on their physical appearance, sexual comments and racial slurs - according to keyboard warriors - we should just quit.
Going to university made a huge difference for me. The community was so much more open than what I had been used to. I started dancing and performing again, I travelled more, and I learnt to treasure a few close friends more than a group of acquaintances. I cut out all the toxic people in my life too.
A bit more than half a year ago, I decided that I would change and I really do think I've managed to reach my goal now.
In the future, when I return to making videos - only if it's something I still enjoy - I want to be able to share happiness with the world instead of a smile that I was forced to wear because society judged me when I didn't. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I was a 'Youtube Girl', or my label as a 'beauty guru' and I treasure my experience, but I'm happy with where I am now more than I have been in a while and I'm glad I finally quit the community that was sucking my confidence from me.
:good:
Great story ~ thanks for sharing ~ and awesome job of doing what's right for you and your life.
I'm really proud of you! :) It can be tough to make changes in life, its great you were able to realize whats good for you & make the change!!
Sooooo proud of you!! It's awesome that you noticed what's good for you and your health and took steps to make changes :D Honestly you inspire me so much today :)
If you still enjoy making videos and go back to YouTube, do it! But only if you want to, totally agree.
You go girl!!!
Life changes people, if only they accept change. And you're young it's normal that all these things happen. The "ME" is a glass jail ^^ :aomd_chat:
laurabow wrote:
Great story ~ thanks for sharing ~ and awesome job of doing what's right for you and your life.
Thank-you! Reading what the other dolls have written really inspired me to share. I hope that I can help others put themselves fist as well =]
cocobelle wrote:
I'm really proud of you! :) It can be tough to make changes in life, its great you were able to realize whats good for you & make the change!!
It's definitely been a tough ride! And I'm glad it has, it's made me learn so much more about myself.
darkelfqueen wrote:
Sooooo proud of you!! It's awesome that you noticed what's good for you and your health and took steps to make changes :D Honestly you inspire me so much today :)
If you still enjoy making videos and go back to YouTube, do it! But only if you want to, totally agree.
You go girl!!!
Your post was actually the one that inspired me the most! I'm planning to start a gratitude diary like you so that I can remind myself of all the good things in my life. I love how you decided that you would chase your own happiness as well.
mlle-green wrote:
Life changes people, if only they accept change. And you're young it's normal that all these things happen. The "ME" is a glass jail ^^ :aomd_chat:
The "me" is a glass jail... What a poignant and poetic way to put it! You have a lovely way with words.
Thank-you for all your support and kind words, the OMD community never fails to amaze me.
mineyeung wrote:
darkelfqueen wrote:
Sooooo proud of you!! It's awesome that you noticed what's good for you and your health and took steps to make changes :D Honestly you inspire me so much today :)
If you still enjoy making videos and go back to YouTube, do it! But only if you want to, totally agree.
You go girl!!!Your post was actually the one that inspired me the most! I'm planning to start a gratitude diary like you so that I can remind myself of all the good things in my life. I love how you decided that you would chase your own happiness as well.
Gratitude diary/journal is one of the best things ever!! And there are so many cool printables online too!!
If you discover some new ideas, let me know!!