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                        Harry Potter and the Chamber of Calculus

                        Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Algebra

                        Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Theorem

                        Harry Potter and the Goblet of Analysis

                        Harry Potter and the Order of Operations

                        Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Statistician

                        Harry Potter and the Deathly Algorithms

                    OH MY F-ING GOD

                AND THE ORDER OF OPERATIONS

            I’m in Dumbledores math club…

        More like Harry Hypotternuse.
       

    You’re a mathemagician, Harry.



... I had to share it.

Last edited by xemoxrockerx (17-08-2013 18:28:43)

LOLOL!

Okay so Malu and I derping on fanfiction(dot)net and we stumbled on this. If you find anything insulting and/or swear words please let us know. :D

50 Reasons why Harry Potter is Better than Twilight ~ By Potterhead-Gleek

It took Stephanie Meyer 5 years to write twilight, it took JK Rowling 5 years to write the story outline for Harry Potter.

Twilight does not have any depth to its characters. Every single character has a back-story in Harry Potter, and it's these back stories that help us feel and love the characters, like Snape.

JK Rowling actually took time to write the books and make sure they were good. They were not some idea that she randomly blurted down.

Stephanie Meyer said that she got the idea for Twilight in a dream and Dumbledore once said 'It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live'.

JK Rowling made her characters so real that we cry, laugh, and get angry with them.

The characters of Twilight are superficial and cliché.

The female roles in Harry Potter don't need men to survive. Harry and Ron would be dead without Hermione. When Harry leaves Ginny she doesn't mope around and become a zombie she continues on and even rebels against the death eaters at Hogwarts at risk of her own health.

JK Rowling has made the plot and characters so deep that when something significant happens, emotions really are felt. Like Dobby's or Fred's death or when Harry was walking to the forest, understanding that he has to die to save those that he loved. (not just sitting around waiting for your oh-so-important boyfriend to show up)

Harry Potter isn't about the importance of having a boyfriend like twilight. Harry Potter is about the importance of doing the right thing even at the cost of your life and how love will save us all.

Harry Potter has real love not lust like in Twilight.

It's more then one genre (unlike Twilight), Harry Potter has love, action, comedy, adventure, and fantasy.

Stephan King said Stephanie Meyer 'can't write worth a darn'

Any decent writer has yet to tell JK Rowling that she can't write.

My IQ dropped three points after reading Twilight.

Edward Cullen is a STALKER, stalkers are NOT romantic Bella should call the cops.

Bella is perfect, nobody is perfect. Her only fault is that she is a klutz and even that gets remedied eventually.

Harry Potter quotes are so much less cheesey than twilight quotes "If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I'm not ashamed of it." - Edward Cullen vs. "to the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure" - Albus Dumbledore.

JK Rowling sticks to the rules and boundaries that she sets in her fantasy. For example "no magic can truly bring a person back from the dead" (the stone in the last book doesn't count because they weren't really back in the same essence that they were before) Who wants to bet if HP was written by Stephanie Meyer that she would've made Harry's parents come back by the middle of the first book?

Harry Potter inspired literacy, has anyone noticed how badly the twilight fans spell? Here is what one of them wrote about Twilight "wel befor i read twilight i neva red anything befor and its the best book eva so i think i noe wot im talking about"...WHAT?

Harry Potter has the biggest Fan base in a decade, Twilight has the biggest anit fanbase.

Harry Potter is for everyone Twilight is for hormonal pre-teen and teenage girls, of and middle aged women (Stephanie Meyer) who think like hormonal teenagers.

JK Rowling doesn't just kill the bad guys like Stephanie Meyer does. She kills some of our favourite characters: Fred, Sirius, Dobby, Mad-Eye Moody, Dumbledore, Snape….etc.

You can read a Harry Potter multiple times and find it just as amazing as the last, when you read Harry Potter you actually feel like you are in the book along with the characters. While I cannot say the same for Twilight.

Someone needs to take away Stephanie Meyers thesaurus I genuinely want to see what she comes up with.

Harry Potter has genuine Werewolves.

Harry Potter abides by the rules it sets itself. If Edward Cullen's body is dead, his heart doesn't work, he no longer creates waste, he doesn't need energy, and he doesn't grow then how in hell can he produce superhuman-sperm?

The names... Don't get me STARTED on the names. Lord Voldemort even sounds evil... James definitely doesn't sound evil. Dumbledore sounds good. Edward- Jacob? Plain names! Draco Malfoy is the bad boy of the school and his name sounds royal- like he believes he is- as well as someone who might be snobby. I really doubt that LAUREN sounds snobby to anyone who listens to her name alone.

Robert Pattinson! He said that he HATED playing Edward Cullen but he LOVED playing Cedric Diggory. He even said that he played Edward like a maniac depressive.

The two guys who save Bella's life are Jacob and Edward. Seriously, it gets boring when it happens a thousand times. Harry is saved by Dumbledore, Snape, Ron, Hermione, Cedric and so many more! Plus, he saves them too from terrible fates.

AVADA KEDAVRA! It is so cool... the Killing Curse that kills people in two seconds! I bet if you put Harry Potter and Edward Cullen in a fight, this is how it will go...
Edward: You cannot come NEAR Bella. I will kill you before you even think about it.
Harry: *Rolls his eyes* AVADA KEDAVRA! (which would be totally legal because Edward is neither human nor living well except for his appendage apparently)
Edward: *Dies*
Bella: *Screams and thinks about ways to kill herself.*

Harry Potter has tiny details that turn out to be so important later. They seem really insignificant in the beginning but they always turn out to have a bigger meaning. For example, the locket of Regulus Black is mentioned in Order of the Phoenix. I bet half the people read on, not caring about who the hell R.A.B was. Then, it turns out if Harry doesn't find out who R.A.B was and where the freaking locket is now... Voldemort will never be defeated. Awesome much? Keeps you wondering... And in the first book, on the chocolate card, it said Dumbledore was famour for defeating Grindelwald. Who Grindelwald was, you didn't find out till the 7th book! And you had forgotten about him until then. When his name comes up in the final book, you're like: Wait, I've heard that name before. Where? Where? Where? Am I right?
In Twilight, all the two ever do is say cheesy stuff to each other. I swear, if Meyer had missed out some of those lines, the book would have been like 50 pages long! Then, in the second one, Bella keeps describing the hole in her chest.

Supporting characters. Okay, I'm giving examples in this so its gonna be a bit long.
Twilight:
Mike: Supporting character who is only mentioned when he is asking Bella out on a date or something.
Jessica: Only mentioned when Bella is criticising her of gossiping too much.
Angela: Only mentioned when Bella is appreciating why she is quiet and lets people have their space but understands them too.
Heck, Esme: Only mentioned whenever something bad happens!
Tyler: HE ALMOST FLATTENED BELLA WITH HIS VAN AND HE WAS HARDLY MENTIONED AFTER THAT CHAPTER!
I mean, don't make extra characters if you aren't going to use them.

Harry Potter:
Draco Malfoy: (Just 'cause I love him) He's mentioned all the time and believe it or not, people START to like him no matter how much of a jerk he is in the book- because he is mentioned so much that like, he is one of the main characters. In Book 6, he IS one of the main characters and you feel sorry for him by the end. Why? Because he is a GOOD supporting character.
Neville Longbottom: A complete IDIOT who has no clue about anything BUT Herbology. Then, why do we like him? Because the main characters do and he is likeable. Why? Because he is mentioned so much that he becomes a huge part of the book!

This one is brilliant. The Death Eaters are WAY more awesome than the Volturi. All the Volturi do is sit down on their thrones and wait for some news to reach their ears so they can roll their eyes and send guards to kill them if they want to. If they think its serious enough, they go, talk it out and come back! The Death Eaters kill people! That makes them EVIL... something to be scared of! And yes, I really think there should be a Volturi-Death-Eater match and I BET that the Death Eaters will win hands down.

We are the POTTER GENERATION not the FAIRIES-PRETENDING-TO-BE-VAMPIRES GENERATION!

Harry and Edward: Edward is a sissy, gay vampire who only cares about Bella and no one else. He's stayed with Carlisle for 104 years and he is ready to throw him away for someone who he has only been in his life for a few months. He is shallow, over-protective and a stalker. Harry is brave and he lets Ginny go because he knows that he might even get murdered by Voldemort. He is prepared to sacrifice himself for everyone and not just Ginny. He is NOT overprotective- the way he lets Ginny fight in the Order of the Phoenix proves that. That just shows he is secure about her and trusts her unlike Edward.

Voldemort and James or Victoria or ANY stupid villian in Twilight: James lured Bella into a trap and then fucking made a video of her. DIdn't he have enough brains to just KNOW that Edward will be coming? Voldemort, in the first one, COMMANDED Quirrel again and again to kill Harry even though he couldn't lay his hands on him. Just shows how desperate he is to get him killed. Victoria was actually scared! She spent six months and more trying to get to Bella and then when she DID get close enough to her, she danced and poof, she's dead. WHAT? Harry and Voldemort DUELLED in the fourth book. Voldemort shouted Avada Kedavra, determined to kill Harry but something happened. At least SOMETHING happened!

Movie effects. Seriously, when I watched Twilight and the part where Edward walks out into the sunlight, I had to rewind it four times to just take in that he was sparkling. It looked nothing like it! I agree that the first two Potter movies had pretty stupid effects but then, they were YEARS back, before all the advanced technology. Goblet of Fire had an AWESOME dragon. Then the spells and the sparks coming from the wands are almost believable. I mean, the effects makes it impossible NOT to believe in the movies...

The jokes in the book. Examples...
Twilight
Jacob: Does my being half-naked bother you?
Bella: *blushes*
WTF?

Harry Potter:
Mrs Weasley: Fred, you next.
Twin 1: He's not Fred, I AM!
Twin 2: Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother.
Comparison?

Okay, people may or may not know this. BUT DOES TWILIGHT HAVE A THEME PARK BASED ON IT? Yes! There is a theme park being made which is based on Harry Potter alone! CAN YOU SAY AWESOME MUCH?

Emma Watson (Hermione) vs. Kristen Stewart (Bella): No matter what people say, Kristin Stewart can't act one bit. She shows NO emotion at all and she blinks so much. She stutters and seriously, she sounds a bit retarded. Emma can act... the way her eyebrows move show emotion and her British accent is just brilliant. Who doesn't like that?

The Answer to that is: (to why Kristin stutters alot) Shes a pot-head. No lie, she is! i can tell. no wonder her voice is so deep and in the new moon trailer (Yes i actually was THAT bored to go and watch it...) she sounds like a guy at one point when she says: "No..please no!" or something like that.

I just felt this deserved a place on its own. Ron and Hermione's kiss was brilliant! The passion in it and it was probably at one of the most unexpected moments ever... right in the middle of a war! I don't see Edward and Bella's one kiss matching that one. Plus, it wasn't all detailed so it didn't really want to make you puke.

Sirius Black- Motorcycle, Black hair with the length, black as a last name oh yeah and the ability to turn into a giant canine at will
Jacob Black- A BAD VERSION OF SIRIUS

Renesmee is a HALF VAMPIRE MORTAL MOTHER PURE VAMPIRE FATHER
HARRY- HALF BLOOD- MUGGLEBORN MOTHER PUREBLOOD FATHER

Here is a couple experiences of mine:

Case 1:
Me: I personally think that Harry Potter is much better than Twilight.
Twilight fan: WHAT? U DIDNT JUST SAYYYY THATTT! OKAYYY? I'M GONNAA HUNT U DOWNN N KILL YAA! FU** OFFF, IDIOT!

Case 2:
Me: I personally think Harry Potter OWNS Twilight.
Twilight fan: You're probably just a small baby who whines because your mother or father are dead.
Offending much?

Case 3:
Me: Why do you think Twilight is better than Harry Potter?
Twilight Fan: Coz, like, Edwardz hottt! And so is jacobb. and its a luv storyy and oh yeah, edward is hottt!

First chapter. On Twilight, Bella was talking about how emo she always considered herself and how oh-so-miserable was her life. On the other hand, on Harry Potter the main character's name wasn't EVEN MENTIONED in the first pages: "Mr and Mrs Dursley, of number four Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much." vs. "I had never given much thought to how i would die. but dying in the place of someone I love seems like a pretty good way to go." Yeah, TWILIGHT REFLECTS OUR LIVES! Who is the MORON that would ACTUALLY say that? While the first chapter of Harry Potter actually starts as normal.

Clothes. There is nothing "vampire"-ish in Twilight... in HP, the clothes basically spell out: "Wizard"

When the first Harry Potter film was maked, J.K Rowling was asked if she would play Lily Potter in the Mirror of Erised. J.K Rowling said no, because she didn't think a author of a book should be in the did Stephenie Meyer do? She is in the film, as a random lady with a laptop. Why do she need to be in her own movie? Really?

"Never tickle a sleeping dragon" is just so much cooler than "And then the lion fell in love with the lamb"

Okay... the books. Twilight sold 17 million copies. Philosopher's Stone (or Sorcerer's Stone) sold 120 million. *Lets out a low whistle*

In Harry Potter there's lots of strong female characters! I can't exactly say the same for Twilight (Bella) I mean, look at Molly, Hermione, Ginny, McGonagall, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Umbridge ( yes, Umbridge) etc. etc. They don't depend on a husband or boyfriend to live, and they can take care of themselves.

How about:

"The irony that that no one hates twilight more than the guy who plays the male lead, Robert Pattinson. NO ONE."

Though I dunno if it's there :P

Man i luv this :3

Aaaand heres another list I came across. ;D There are many more than this, but it's already as long as it is, so here you go!

Some important things a Muggle shouldn't do while at Hogwarts
1. I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor will I insist that their house colors indicate that they are covered in bees.

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class.

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not an extra credit project for Herbology.

4. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Woods' name" is not a challenge.

5. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogwarts, I will not point at the Dark Mark and say; "To the Batmobile, Robin."

6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write "I told you I was hard-core".

8. I will stop referring to showering as giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful.

9. Polishing my wand in the common room is acceptable. Polishing my "wand" in the common room is not.

10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw the Dark Mark on their arm.

11. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.

12. I will stop sending forged love notes to Snape that appear to be from Lupin.

13. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as bookends.

14. I will not refer to the Patil twins as bookends.

15. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an appropriate suggestion for the class play.

16. Telling Malfoy to 'make like a ferret and bounce,' is always a bad idea.

17. I will not swap Draco's broom with one of Filch's.

18. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

19. I will not add 'according to the prophecy' at the end of sentences to try and up my Divination mark.

20. I am not allowed to bother Snape, and Dumbledore does not routinely have 'Naked Time.'

21. Putting fake spiders in Ron's bed is not funny, even when he tries jumping out the window.

22. I am allowed to have a toad, rat, cat, or owl. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or a piranha.

23. No part of my uniform is edible. I am not allowed to make any part of my uniform edible.

24. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

25. Remarking 'That's what she said last night' to any thing anyone says is only marginally funny the first time, and never funny to Harry. No matter how hard Sirius is laughing.

26. I will not lick Trevor.

27. The Ravenclaws are not Mentals in training.

28. I will stop insinuating that McGonagall and Mrs. Norris have an inappropriate relationship.

29. I will not change the password to the prefect's bath to "Makes getting clean almost as much fun as getting dirty."

30. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.

31. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" is only funny the first time.

32. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

33. I will not offer to pose nude for Dean Thomas.

34. 42? Is not the answer to every question to the O.W.L.s.

35. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

36. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

37. I am not to proclaim myself the new Dark Lord.

38. Replying to every question that Lupin asks with "Are you Sirius?" is not funny, even the first time.

39. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, pale, blond and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support,

40. I will not teach the first-years to sing A Wizard s Staff Has A Knob On The End.

41. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

42. It is exceptionally tasteless to tell Professor Lupin that "once you go Black, you never go back."

43. The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

44. I am not to draw a smiley face on my arm and call it the new Dark Mark.

45. I am not allowed to suggest that the Gryffindor team practice by playing Strip Quidditch.

46. I will not play the Darth Vader theme song for Professor Snape as he enters the room.

47. Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda.

48. I am no longer allowed to use the words pimp cane in front of Draco Malfoy.

49. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled Firewhiskey.

50. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

51. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's angels"

52. A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.

53. Naughty jokes concerning 'Moaning' Myrtle are only funny once.

54. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.

55. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth house at Hogwarts. And I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

Last edited by amaryllis-love (18-08-2013 13:14:00)

Ohmyfreakinggod icannotbelievesomebodyactuallycameupwithallthose XD I'm looking like an idiot laughing right now...right before a test....

*Spits water everywhere*

Will you look at that! You are what you most fear, after all!

Cho Chang



"Oh, you'll talk to Hermione Granger! But you won't talk to me! P-perhaps it would be best if we just... just p-paid and you went and met up with Hermione G-Granger, like you obviously want to!"

You are Cho Chang, Harry's schoolmate and previous girlfriend. Cho is shy, sensitive, and somewhat childish. Because she is a quiet beauty, Harry doesn’t realize that she has less than admirable traits, which leads the two of them into an empty relationship. Although Cho is a bright girl, she is easy prey to unnecessary drama. She places herself around vapid friends, which warps her logic and causes her to lose sight of what is really important. You are similar to Cho in the sense that neither of you are particularly worldly. You are very softhearted and your feelings are easily hurt, which is why you have a good amount of friends, but have trouble in relationships. Jealousy is something you deal with on a day-to-day basis because you are unsure of yourself. It is rare to find you in a truly cheerful mood, but that doesn’t mean that you are depressing or uninteresting; naïve as you may be, you are quite intuitive and pay close attention to your surroundings. My advice: open yourself up to new experiences and new people whenever you can. The more you know, the more you grow! (Wow that was the lamest thing I've ever written in my life, sorry about that. But siriusly.) (Okay I'm done now.)


In short, you are more:


Cautious than impulsive

Immature than mature

Modest than arrogant

Normal than weird

Extroverted than introverted




Your polar opposite is Xenophilius Lovegood.

Well. I don't know what to make of that. o.O

Awwwwwwwaaaaaaard!!

Would anyone care for a Bella Twix?

I know Tom wouldn't. I heard he was riddled with fever!

Your result for The Remarkably Thorough Harry Potter Character Test ...
Arthur Weasley
Arthur Weasley

“Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain.”





You are Arthur Weasley, father of seven children, husband of Molly Weasley, and Ministry employee. Arthur is kind, simple-minded, and easily amused. Obsessed with Muggles and the Muggle world, he is always tinkering with non-magical things like automobiles and toaster ovens. He tends to live in his own head, where his wild imagination takes precedence over the real world. The good thing about Arthur, though, is that he is not entirely in the clouds. He can be serious when the timing is right, and is very dedicated to the well being of his family. You and Arthur are alike in the sense that both of you are dreamers; rather than being grounded in the present, you are constantly thinking of the future and trying to come up with new ideas. When faced with a stressful situation, you are somewhat hesitant at first, but you try your best to put your fears aside in order to act appropriately. The only thing that seems to upset or anger you is when someone challenges your integrity with petty insults or condescending remarks. When you get pissed off, people had better watch out! (They so should have put the Flourish & Blotts fight in the second movie. Ugh.)


In short, you are more:


Cautious than impulsive

Immature than mature

Modest than arrogant

Weird than normal

Introverted than extroverted




Your polar opposite is Horace Slughorn.

((Ya'll and your puns.))

I have to post this Potter Minion.