I'm not sure...which is the problem..I know that the latest ones started as me starting to follow how I'm breathing...and then I'd feel like I can't breathe and that I am losing conscious and then I'd feel my heart race and practically hear it. I'd try to kick everything off my bed even the pillows to feel better. I'd toss and turn without use and in the end, I'd have to get out of the bed and walk around. My heart still beating hard.

Last edited by darkelfqueen (2013-08-24 00:37:29)

I don't believe in doctors. I think most things can be cured at home. Of course...if it's really really bad, then yes go to the doctor. Preferably one who wont give you any medicine because no matter what anyone says...it makes things worse. Not here to debate that so...

No found reason for them? Then do the breathing. Meditation helps a lot. I don't know if you've seen Naruto Shippudden. But there's this one episode where he needs to meditate to "become one with nature". You sit there and take in everything around you.  Clear away any and all thoughts. Your mind should be a blank slate. Nothing should go through it. try that. It takes a lot of practice but I think it would do one good. Just sit for about 10 minutes and clear your mind.

You sound like a person who needs "real" people around. Not us computer faced ones. Take a break from OMD. Don't think about coming here. Just a small one cuz we'd miss you much. But maybe like a month. Go out and make some friends, take a walk, hang with fam.
Speaking of family...They love you. Yeah they're not going to accept the fact that they're daughter is a weirdo who has online friends, and I hate comparing myself to others, but I get put down by own family for this. My brother thinks I'm mental. My sister says that I have weird fake friends, my mom says I need to quit being a stupid person in front of the computer and to go get a life (she's actually wanting to block OMD) my other sister thinks I'm an idiot, my other brother doesn't even bother with me, my other brother thinks I'm just crazy, and my dad doesn't care so long as I get into medical school.
All in all...Your family is having the natural reaction. I'd be worried if they weren't actually.

No back to subject...We're here for you. You need to know that because you don't take full use of our service. Love, once again, we're here for you. Understand it. Don't think for a minute that we won't even try to help you. Don't think for a minute that you'd be burdening us with anything. We can understand what your going through better than anyone else. Because what you've stated up there...I'm pretty sure most of us have gone through it.

*Hug* Again. We. Are. Here. For. YOU.

Well, let me just start off by saying that Malu and Angelfire, you girllz are very helpful. Extremely helpful, indeed. Secondly, I must admit that I have these problems, too. The sleeping problems and the panic attacks. I get this A LOT. And when I mean a lot, I REALLY mean a lot. Like, every week. Even more. Three times a week, sometimes. And I'm definetely NOT the type of person who deals with problems all by myself. Oh, no. I don't keep it locked up inside of me. Nope. Not for me. I cry. I scream. I kick. I punch. I go crazy when I can't sleep. CRAZY. Literally. I get LOTS of panic attacks. LOTS. And I don't get fifteen to thirty minute delays. Oh, no. When I can't sleep, I stay awake for HOURS. Usually three hours is the amount of time that passes between the time I go to bed and the time I actually fall asleep. Sometimes four, but not as often as three. Once in a while five hour delays, and the most ever, which was only once, by the way, was six. Six hour delays. SIX HOUR DELAYS. S-I-X      H-O-U-R-S. Though that was only once, you can only imagine what it might've been like for me. When I can't sleep for an hour, I cry and scream. Sometimes I kick and punch. Inanimate objects, to be sure. Imagine after SIX hours. I will go COMPLETELY NUTS if I cannot sleep for SIX HOURS. I already go completely nuts when I can't sleep for ONE hour. Literally. So, I know what you're going through. Really, I do. I haven't found a stable solution yet, but what I try to do when I can't sleep is think of something else. I just think of what I'm going to do tomorrow, or picture a scene of my friends & family and I end up falling asleep...Eventually. I have a habit of frequently looking at the time, which makes me panic even more. NEVER look at the time if you have trouble sleeping. You MAY do it once, or perhaps even twice, but NO MORE. I don't look at it at all after 11:30, 12:00 P.M. It just makes me even more nervous. I panic even more. Or, sometimes, I tell my mother about this, and she tells me to just close my eyes, take some deep breaths, and think of something nice, or a beautiful scenery. And it usually works. But sometimes, it's just telling my mother, or my mother reassuring me that makes me fall asleep. It's kind of bizarre, but sometimes that's all I need, really. NEVER get out of bed and go do something or be active. That will make you stay up even LONGER. What I do is stay in bed and do absolutely NOTHING. NEVER think about sleep when you can't sleep. EVER. It's possibly the worst thing to do. Try to drink some water, perhaps go to the bathroom, think of your family, friends, partner (if you have one), or something you like to do. Picture in your mind the perfect day. Shake out all of those nasty little bits, or those scary little pictures in your mind. Just breathe. Think of nice things. What I also do is picture something in motion. Like a dolphin, for example. Sometimes, what I do, is I picture a dolphin. Seriously. I picture a dolphin in motion. Like, jumping out of the water, about to go back in, like halfway there. You might think I'm crazy, which maybe I am, but it works for me. It really does. But try not to think of too much motion, or moving motion. Just simple, short little movements like that. For example, running would not be a good thought to think about, because it's a moving motion. And a dancing routine, or a cheer leading routine, would not be a good thought to think about, either, since it's very long and quite complex. Just tiny, little movements like the dolphin jumping. Also try to get as comfortable as possible in bed. Don't get cold, don't get hot, get comfortable. Perhaps take a quick bath or shower before going to bed. But don't take a long shower, though. The noise and light mixed with the force and the friction of the water hitting you may make you stay awake for even longer. It usually gets your brain activated. Try not to fall asleep in the bathtub, though. If you do end up falling asleep in the bathtub, however, that's a good sign. It means you will most likely be able to fall asleep soon, because you are most probably tired. If you have been in your pajamas all day, change them. Never go to bed wearing the same thing you wore all day. Even if it doesn't look dirty, it probably is, because of bacteria, sweat, dirt and germs and stuff like that. Also, it might feel kind of sticky, or humid or uncomfortable if you go to bed wearing the same thing you were in all day. If you cannot sleep with the light on, or have trouble sleeping often like I do, then keep the lights OFF. The only light that should be on in your room or around your room should be your alarm clock, if it's digital or if it lights up. There should be no light in the halls, in your room, or anywhere where it could disturb you or be percepted by your eyes. Also, turn off and/or put away any electronics or distractions, such as cell phone, telephone, bright lights/bright colored things such as paintings or posters, glow in the dark objects, video game consoles / games, computers, laptops, Nintendo DS, Ipod, MP3 player, television, music, ect, ect. If your family is still awake when you go to bed, kindly ask them to turn their distractions off, or if they insist on keeping them in use, then to a minimum. If they do not co-operate, close the door or draw the shades/curtains. If you are claustrophobic, like I am, then beg for them to turn their consoles off or to a minimum, like I said before. Ask them to keep their voices to a minimum. Close or hide any books, magazines, paintings, drawings, posters and/or food. This will keep your distractions to nothing or a minimum. If something scares you or makes you feel sad, block it out of your head. Try reading or doing other things before you go to bed to get your mind off of it. Or pretend it's just a movie, or show, or some stupid joke or not the right information or something like that. The best thing to do is not to look at it nor think about it. Never go to bed with your hair tied, if you're uncomfortable like that. Pins, barettes, and sometimes even elastics can really hurt, and they can even poke into your skin and injure you. Gross, yes, but true. The same thing for jewelry. Never sleep with earrings on. They can poke into your skin and injure you, just like bracelets, rings, piercings, necklaces and other sorts of things. And necklaces can also choke you, so never sleep with them on, either. Never sleep with makeup on if it makes you feel uncomfortable. It might make you feel itchy, or sticky, perhaps, or just like you have another set of skin at certain parts and or places. If you wear a wig, it would be best to take it off before going to bed, to really feel natural and comfortable. Especially take it off if it's itchy, like some wigs. If you have a pet/animal companion, sleep with them or make them sleep with you. They do not necessarily have to sleep right next to you. They can sleep on the end/edge of the bed, or perhaps on the floor next to your bed. They can even sleep in your room, in the hallway, or even on the same floor as you. This makes me feel much more safe and much more comfortable going to bed. And this might sound kind of babyish and or childish, but if you want, sleep with a stuffed animal. I know some people who are adults and still sleep with stuffed animals sometimes. It does not have to be regularly or all the time, just once in a while when you feel scared or alone. Just for some security. But that probably sounds kind of babyish, though. It's just a suggestion. I also think you should scan your room before going to bed. If you do not like bugs, like me, I suggest you scan your room for bugs or reptiles. Simply check your walls, first the top edges, then the bottom edges, or wherever there are small spaces big enough for a bug or reptile to hide, or vice versa, and then check the faces/outside of your walls, and then check your ceiling. You can choose to check it the same way, from the edges to the outside, or just a quick scan. Also, if you are very paranoid, you can check your room for little pranks or stuff like that. Check any place you think is big enough for a person to hide or for a prank to work/be set up. Brush your teeth before going to bed, and if you want clean your ears/yourself, and get really comfortable, put on some really comfortable pajamas, and think positively. Think good, positive thoughts. Don't worry. Be happy. Say goodnight to everyone in your family. Say goodnight to your friends/partner/pet if you have to. Make sure you feel comfortable and safe in your environment. If everyone else is sleeping, or if you just simply feel uncomfortable or unsafe, lock the doors and windows. Close any doors in any rooms in the house that are not being occupied. Close any lights in any rooms in the house that are not being occupied. Do anything you can to make you feel comfortable. :)   
   
    As for the family thing, this/that has never happened to me, or if it did, I seriously don't remember, so I cannot really relate, which means my advice might not be as clear or as helpful as the other girllz' advice. It also might not be as detailed. What I would do if I were you is sit down and talk to my family about all of this. I would talk to my friends and partner, too. I would tell them everything that's going on right now, and I would even write in a diary. For me, writing gets my feelings out. Since you like to write, writing in a dairy would most probably help you to get your emotions out. Also, if you don't feel like taking walks in the park or talking with your family, perhaps you guys can do something else you all like. Do an activity that you can all enjoy and agree on. That's what I would do. But most of all, talk to your family about all of this and see what they say. Even if they don't show it or it doesn't seem like it on the outside, they love you. They really, really do. I hope this helps, and has helped. :)

Awe, sorry to hear you're going through all that, I've been there.  I've been having panic attacks for years.  Mine are brought on by stress, anger, or hormonal changes..  and will happen more at night when I'm trying to sleep.  My mind won't shut off and I start to dwell on all the bad things that have happened or worry about  what I'm going to do with my life.. 

I start to hyperventilate during a panic attack, so I take deep breaths and tell myself, just breathe, over and over.  That's all I focus on, try to clear my thoughts of everything else until I can breathe normally and my hearts not racing.  I keep doing this even after, for a few minutes. 

I'm introverted so I NEED a fair amount of time alone.  I read something about introverts are energized by being alone, and energy is drained by being around people.  I def. feel this is true for me anyway.  The hard part about it is people need interaction with other people.  I don't know if you are introverted, but if so, try not to let people get you down because you want to spend time alone with your art (or other hobbies) if that's what you need in the moment then do what's best for you.  On the other hand, try not to alienate yourself.  If you have to force yourself to get out of your room, then do it.  Too much alone time, can cause you to get way too deep in your head, and for me anyway, that's a lot of times when the panic attacks kick in. 

Some of the worst times I've had are during panic attacks, in a moment of thinking I can't do this anymore.. I ended up in the hospital having to get my stomach pumped.  Just know/try to remember when it happens, the panic attack won't last forever, you know what it is, and you can get through it.   *BIG HUGS*

Thanks a lot girls. I really appreciate all of your comments and help. It really helped feeling that you girls are there for me like this. I read every single comment more than once actually.

I talked to my mom about my trouble falling asleep and at first, she actually got angry with me for not being able to calm down...No...I'm not kidding then we moved the extra bed to her room to see if that would help. I also didn't go to bed until 1 am even though I was already feeling sleepy at 11 which helped me sleep without thinking.

I did wake up several times feeling like someone was holding my neck and not being able to breathe, but it was a bit better than before.

@subway: I do not even look at the clock now. I took out all of the clocks, alarm clocks and my phone out of my room. I set the alarm and leave it outside my room.

@cocobelle: I really hope you are better now! I hate those attacks. I was actually wondering if breathing was helping me. The thing is I noticed that the more I thought of them, the more I felt like I was not breathing...which was worse.

According to a test we had to take in my freshmen year of college, I'm on the verge of being an introvert. I know that to be a bit different now. You see, at work and at college, I'm considered to be the cheerful person that drives everyone to be optimistic. I'm also the go-to person whenever there's a speech or a presentation. What I usually try to do is I panic until the last moment. But I try to shut up any emotions once the speech starts...It tends to work for me.

I know that being around people wears me out. No kidding. Especially that after high school, I started noticing how fake everyone was (except for my family and a friend that lives in another state). I smile at them and I know their smiles are fake...I guess that's the main reason.

but even when I'm around my family, I seriously find myself  having to retreat to my room or to the park near our place for an hour or so at least listening to music, drawing something, writing in my novel or just looking at the sky. I NEED those moments very desperately.

I tried talking to my mom about it once and she was like "That is not healthy and you're making it worse on yourself."

@janghyunae (Seriously tell me a nickname you like!): Wow...That was so...inspiring. For me, I can't talk out my negative feelings. I can scream out my happiness, but not any negative feelings. I have a diary that I've been keeping since I was 10. it does help but I noticed that lately I've been writing less and less. Maybe I should go back to it and see...

Also, I'm gonna try shutting myself off and stretching. Shutting off sound impossible with me. If I don't think of what I have to do or plan my next day, my mind starts going on new ideas for novels, new ideas for drawings, new ideas for  software (I'm a Software Engineer). That or... guilt trips.

As for my dreams...They have been like that since I was little. I would somtimes wake up screaming because of them. I ended up walking several times before while asleep...not only that, but also talking to my family and them assuming I'm awake. I am not kidding. I almost threw my pillow out of the window once...But every since then I put obstacles around the window to avoid that. My dreams are very realistic. I can feel people breathing down my neck in nightmares!!!

Last edited by darkelfqueen (2013-08-24 16:32:39)

@jang: Leo it is!!!

Yeah the reason I write my fanfictions is the fact that they really help me think of a totally different world. A not perfect one, but still different!

and lol @ your hatred for your friends cosmetic table.

And I think you're making sense...I actually have a pretty good relationship with my mom. We have our girl times and do things from time to time...but at times, I just do not want to hear any scolding. I'm already my own worst critic, so hearing too much criticizing really angers me!

Sure. Go ahead. PM or here?

Hm, could it be that your panic attacks are caused by the fact that your family (your mom) doesn't accept that you're a little bit introverted? You said yourself that you have a deep relationship with your mom. She wants you to spend more time with her and obviuosly you'd be happy to do that BUT you need also time to yourself, and because you're kind of introverted you may need a little bit MORE time to yourself than other people. And I think that your mom might not understand that need of being alone. You know that, it hurts you, you'd like to change yourself but you can't. And because of that you feel like choking.

I'm an introvert, but when I was a kid not many people heard of that word. For a long time my mom couldn't understand what the hell was wrong with me. She was obviously happy that I don't make as much ruckus as other kids, but at the same time she was worried that I don't talk a lot, like reading more than playing with friends and spend so much time simply daydreaming. At school teachers were constantly asking me why I'm so quiet and why I'm not more active during cl@sses. Everybody was thinking that I'm increadibly shy (Okay, how can a kid that loves acting in school performances be shy?) and so I started to believe that there's something weird about me and was trying several times to change myself. It was impossible of course. But then, when I was 14 or so, my mom and I accidentally ended up at psychologist. You should have seen the doctor's face when my mom had told her what had bothered her. She was like "Lol, your kid is an introvert, not an alien. Just live her alone and she's gonna be fine!". And so my mom did. She still doesn't understand how can I get tired by spending time with friends and family but at least she's tolerant about it :)

darkelfqueen wrote:

@jang: Leo it is!!!

Yeah the reason I write my fanfictions is the fact that they really help me think of a totally different world. A not perfect one, but still different!

and lol @ your hatred for your friends cosmetic table.

And I think you're making sense...I actually have a pretty good relationship with my mom. We have our girl times and do things from time to time...but at times, I just do not want to hear any scolding. I'm already my own worst critic, so hearing too much criticizing really angers me!

Sure. Go ahead. PM or here?

I'm Leo. Rawr.

Speaking of fanfictions, I lost track of yours! White rose or something, wasn't it? Where is it~?!?!

Ahh... Me and that person.. We share deep moments of sleep. She has this thing... Whenever she sleeps in the same bed as someone, she'll hug them. Whoever they are, she hugs them. But then when it's me!, she either tries to push me off the bed or starts singing and... ahem... touching by behind and giving me massages. I almost punched her the first time she did it, she remembers nothing but I least I can use that as excuse or accusation. "But I-" "Shut up, you touch my behind even when you're asleep, you love me." "ÓAÒ"

Sounds like me and my mom~ You really have to tell her or OH! Make her come read Rhea's comment ""Lol, your kid is an introvert, not an alien. Just live her alone and she's gonna be fine!"" kekekeke

Question: Did the Dr.House's gifs made you smile a bit or am I just a lost cause?

Then I have succeeded.
Ah... We're that kind of weird friends. We were already pretty good friends for almost 3 months... and I didn't remember her name. So I got a paper and wrote a bunch of stuff like "Find the X" and I'd put a lot of items except the asked thing. And in the bottom right corner, really small "What's your name again?"
That aside, we havent even been mad ever I think and it's been nearly 4 months. And then we switch a lot: she loves scary movies and games and laughs at them, I roll on her floor whilst squealing; she gets totally scared when we go to "haunted" or "scary" places and I'm like "it's just a house, shut up". So yeah, we're quite a match, I'd say.

Ah... I barely remember... But it was a small number, 2 or something ^-^' I changed laptop so I lost the link tbh.

We're working on getting a jet plane so tell me where u at! B)
- and then wait -

MP me the link then! And there's no need to change the plot.

Ahhh, why haven't I seen this yet D:
Hey, Darky, sorry if It's like, I dunno a day or two late, but know that I'm here for you to <3
Also, I dunno if I read that right but there are Introverts who are good socially, but being introverts, it drains them. Be who you are, you need alone time? Go get that time. YOU DESERVE IT. (Also, wow, Software Eng. one of my aspirations<3<3)
Getting Panic-y? Here have this picture of Calming Cat:

And here, have Motivational Penguin too:

*Gives you a hug and warm cuddly blankets*

I can't believe I didn't see your comments, xemo and amary...Thanks a lot! Love the pics, too! Thanks Xemo!

I thought I'd update you, ladies, since you are helping more than you can even imagine. I somewhat talked to my parents...indirectly...My mom and I were having an argument and I (it was really a state I've never been in before), I ended up bursting into tears and telling my parents a lot of the things I had been bottling up...Not everything, but enough...The weird thing is...I seriously don't remember much of what I said.

I've been helping my spiritual side a bit more...Through religious practices and a few new tricks I've learned. There's a guy I've been watching lately and he's...amazing.

He explains a lot of things that happen in our bodies but from an energy point of view. How when we get angry, we shouldn't bottle things up, but also not lose it and why...not because of how people react, but from an energy POV. He helped me a lot.

I've been also trying listening to videos of calm music with nature sounds, thunderstorms, rain, waves...things like that...You start by relaxing your toes...then your legs...then your arms...and so on...Also helps.

I am getting better...I was able to get over a few panic attacks now...The pain I always woke up in is a bit less...

Of course I still feel tired at times...And I think my family still doesn't get how I can get worn out...especially when I am always volunteering and giving speeches and things...But...at least it's getting better.

I will share more of what helps me to help you girls...Thanks a lot again. I really tear up everytime I read your comments...They help me a lot...Thanks.