what do you do when you feel that you were just being used?

darkelfqueen · 2013-10-04 23:29:42

It happened more than once and it really hurts....I like helping others and being there for anyone I can, but more than once...more than once....I end up just being used.

Maybe I am over reacting? Should I just let that person I care about go on with this? I mean...shouldn't I be helping,anyways?

What do you do in this case? Just ignore who's been using you? Do you pretend you know nothing? ... what do you do?

Last edited by darkelfqueen (2013-10-04 23:31:07)

harajukukiki · 2013-10-05 03:57:42

I just stop. I can't tolerate people who always take but never give, so if I realized that that person never gives back, I refuse to help them or be there for them. It's very blunt, but never let anyone take advantage of you.

darkjewels · 2013-10-05 04:04:48

that depends... on the person and on how that person is using me and IF i'm not just being paranoid...

if i'm just being paranoid: i try not to be.

if the person is actualy using me: >if i like the person and/or i'm not doing anything that gets me too tired(or if the way that person is using me is making me stronger somehow) then... i usualy don't react too much until someone ELSE gets disturbed.
then i just try to make that person not need me anymore...

>if i hate/dislike the person: i call them an ambulance.
jk(sort of)

lol am i realy THAT much passive? XD
or am i just too ignorant to notice? x_X

EDIT: and i agree with what harajukukiki said.

Last edited by darkjewels (2013-10-05 04:06:39)

angelfire · 2013-10-05 05:04:27

I'd hurt them.

NO I'M JUST KIDDING. I can't hurt anyone >.< I'll make such a fuss if they just trip and catch themselves.
Anyway...Ignore it like jewel and hara said.
BUT. I'd still continue helping them if they were a friend of mine. If you tell them off, they'll probably just do it again after a while.

If it's something that you just can't stand that they used you for and they know that...then just stop being friends. Other than that, I mean just be more aware beforehand.

What exactly did they do. different things require different advice
If you don't want to say then that's fine but I feel as though I'm making these statements too general

Last edited by angelfire (2013-10-05 05:36:09)

darkelfqueen · 2013-10-05 14:40:38

Well...She and I go back as friends to Middle School. We were best friends, almost inseparable. We'd spend hours on the phone if we're not together in person. Anyways, later we became friends with a new girl and well, things were okay.

After a while, I started noticing that she and that new friend started well...taking a side. They'd want to do things together without the rest of us and so on, but again, I didn't really care. We are all friends and that's all that's matter, right?

Later, during our last year of high school, my bestie started cancelling a lot of our plans. I'd later find out she went out with that other girl. Again...I didn't really care. I mean...it's ehr life right? It hurt of course, but oh well...

As we went to college, that of course became worse. My bestie would come up with lame excuses really for not hanging out (Even though we didn't see each other for months) and I would later find out she was going out normally with that other girl. She would forget my birthday...Things like that.

During that time, I had gotten...well...an emotional shock. I don't want to go into details, but it was the darkest time of my life. Of course, she wasn't there for me. She knew what happened and never bothered to call or anything.

Anywas, she started appearing back in my life recently. And well...turns our she had a fight with that friend and started wanting to hang out and talk and so on. A few days later, she cancels again all of our plans and starts not answering my calls and I find out she and that friend are back again.

I am not a teen. I'm in my twenties, so I am trying to be very level-headed, but it still hurts to only find myself there when she's upset and needs to talk, but otherwise, I'm just...well...nothing.

I had stopped talking to her and everyone else about two years ago btw because of that reason...

I dunno...It's just...painful....I'm trying to ignore it, but...still.

sorcharose · 2013-10-05 17:24:14

Pretty much what you just described is what happened with me and my two best friends, one of whom I've known since highschool and the other since elementary school.

After we got into college we started growing apart and then I noticed I was the only one making any sort of effort to continue the friendship. Of course whenever they needed something or something went wrong guess who they called- me. Whenever I was going through a rough patch and I needed something or just someone to talk to they always had excuses. I stopped making efforts to continue the friendships because I got tired of feeling like I didn't matter to them.

Yeah it sucks realizing the girls I've known for years had become fair weather friends, but if they can't expend at least some of their time and energy on at least texting to say hi or something then I was spending way too much time and energy on making efforts to stay in contact.

darkjewels · 2013-10-06 06:05:34

now that you said what happened...
in your place, i'd start ignoring her and if she'd complain, i'd be like: "I've ALWAYS been there for you when you needed me, and when I needed you, you just gave me cheap excuses not to help me, you begun to use me, you stopped being friendly to me, WHY ON EARTH SHOULD I NOT RETURN THE FAVOR?"
or something like that. but i'm pretty good at being cold to someone i'm mad at or begun to dislike.

in your case, i'd definely get rid of her and make new, actual and loyal friends and cast her aside.
but that's just me...

but yeah, in this case, she is not just using you: she's also ABUSING you. i don't know your rule for abusers, but mine is: "oh, you abused me? GET THE HECK OUT BEFORE I CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF! *gets zombie slayer arsenal and shoots like a crazy* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

but then, again, that's what I would do. XD
because, in my opinion, it's worth "throwing away" people who are that fake. but IF you do belive the friendship can be saved, go ahead and give it a try. if not, just do to her what she does to you to see if she likes it.

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#1 2013-10-04 23:29:42

what do you do when you feel that you were just being used?

#2 2013-10-05 03:57:42

Re: what do you do when you feel that you were just being used?

#3 2013-10-05 04:04:48

Re: what do you do when you feel that you were just being used?

#4 2013-10-05 05:04:27

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#5 2013-10-05 14:40:38

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#6 2013-10-05 17:24:14

Re: what do you do when you feel that you were just being used?

#7 2013-10-06 06:05:34

Re: what do you do when you feel that you were just being used?

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