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#1 2015-10-25 17:39:27

darkelfqueen
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From: Where everything else meets
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 51772

Darky learned ...

About a year or so back, I posted here how I was giving myself a total life makeover. From health to time management to pushing the borders... It's been quite a ride. I promised many people that I'd be sharing some of the things I've learned and some of the things that happened throughout that time.

What happened?

Well about a year back, I took a long good look at myself in the mirror and asked myself why in the world do I not pursue the things that I truly admire? It was puzzling me how I'd love some things and yet never ever try to make them happen. For example, for a long long long time I've been wanting to be an early-riser. I am most productive at dawn believe it or not. And I feel a lot happier, too. And yet, I wasn't doing that.

I liked certain fashion styles a lot and yet I always played it safe with my choices. Little things here and there, but together, they were limiting my life. So, I decided that I'll do something about it..

Steps I've taken

1. Decide on a lifetime goal.

You know how we always decide on goals for say, this week, today, this month? Yeah, that's good, but the problem with that is you lose track of life when you're stuck in the daily routine. I lost my spark when I was stuck between work, classes and everything else. Having a lifetime goal helps you see the opportunities that you might otherwise miss.

For example, I've noticed how much I truly enjoy introducing others to my major and career, especially little children. When I teach them how to code and see that spark in their eyes, it's inspiring! Especially because for a moment, six years ago, I almost missed on going into this major because others scared me of it. I want to make sure that this never happens to anyone else. I want people to see technology and software not as a scary black box, but as a helpful tool. Especially girls and little children.

When I decided on that goal, I noticed that there were several events going on that were related to it. Events that I was so busy running my day-to-day life that I didn't even notice them. See what I mean? When you have a goal, you start noticing little things here and there that together form your path.

2. Do not try to fit in

For the longest time now, I've tried to fit in at work and classes. The ratio of girls to guys whether at work or at school is 1:10. As a result, I always tried to play down my differences and embrace that things that we have in common. I stopped wearing dresses, skirts because I looked 'weird'. I stopped wearing heels because I looked intimidating. (Yup. guys can be intimidated by it... I know. I never ever thought that could happen O.o)

And then my mentor talked to me and believe it or not, he told me that I was hurting the team because I was doing that. I had a unique and very different opinion about things because I was a girl but since I was always scared of voicing it, that opinion passed unnoticed. When we write an app, we write it for everyone and not just for guys and yeah it seemed like only the guys are writing the app. That was a wake-up call.

The same applies to your personality, your preferences, your style, your religion, your everything. Do not try to fit in, but respect everyone else's preferences, too.

3. Keep a gratitude journal

We all go through sad moments. We all need a good cry at times and you know what, we should. It's bad to hold in emotions and hurt. I'm no longer scared of feeling sad. But the key is not to get paralyzed by that. What I learned is, a good cry followed by a reminder of all the good things truly helps. I now keep a gratitude journal. Every time I smile, laugh, feel happy, I'd note down what made me feel that. Was it a cute word someone said to me? A joke? Great weather? A gift? Doesn't matter. When I'm feeling down, I'd take it out and read it and guess what, life isn't as dark as we think.

Even at times when we seem to have lost everything and everyone seems to have deserted us, a good reminder of who we are, that we're alive and that we can still smile can go a long way.
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These three steps really made a huge difference in my life. I still have a lot more I want to improve, but thought I'd share :) Hope this helps someone else out there.



#2 2015-10-25 17:56:44

angelfire
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From: The world I created in my head
Registered: 2010-08-12
Posts: 21425
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Re: Darky learned ...

Congrats Darky!!
I love the idea of a gratitude journal. I really think I should start doing that too :3 This is a really inspiring post. I'm going to bookmark it. I need to prepare to do some of these things for myself as well.

But really, I'm so proud of you!! You've followed your promise to yourself and made the most of it! It's hard to do and still, you've done it :3


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#3 2015-10-25 20:20:16

darkelfqueen
The Mod Squad
From: Where everything else meets
Registered: 2012-03-21
Posts: 51772

Re: Darky learned ...

Thanks Angel!! You girls really inspired me a lot. There were several times that I amost just gave up, but I'd read something you post and I'd pick up again.

I did miss a couple targets. For example, I lost about 15 lbs, but I aimed at 25lbs. Things like that. Dropping college bad lifestyle is kinda hard, so try not to give into it in the first place :P

 

#4 2015-10-26 06:22:46

laurabow
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Registered: 2010-11-30
Posts: 992

Re: Darky learned ...

Nicely stated.  Thank you for sharing with us.  They are life lessons I could benefit from as well.
good

Last edited by laurabow (2015-10-26 06:22:59)

 

#5 2015-10-26 16:33:34

afna
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Registered: 2014-07-04
Posts: 71

Re: Darky learned ...

This post is really inspiring. After reading this I've realized how blank my life is without a goal to achieve. Also there are many changes i need to bring in to the way I'm now for a better future. Thanks a lot for sharing it with us. It was a big help to me!! star


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#6 2017-03-15 08:18:49

mlle-green
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From: South of France
Registered: 2013-08-13
Posts: 145
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Re: Darky learned ...

*a cup of vervain in hand* - *reading Darky teach*

It's very interesting, I did the same things for a time, but it changed (again). Gratitude has become an ephemeral thing, it does not make me anything anymore. So I make myself laugh. When you understand everything in life, you go crazy at the end ^^ mang Free will!


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#7 2019-02-23 07:08:47

amaryllis-love
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From: The couch
Registered: 2010-12-02
Posts: 11534

Re: Darky learned ...

I am so so proud of the incredible woman you have become so far! It's really inspiring and uplifting to see and read about all the progress you have made over the years, and it just makes me proud. After reading about the amazing and rewarding journey you're on, I started to immediately notice things about myself that I have been putting off changing for a few years. I now feel motivated enough to sort them out and start a checklist.


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