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Hey guys, i've recently started a new story called Lineage [A Draco Malfoy Love Story], and I need some opinions on it. Here is the description kind of thing:
She is the life of the Slytherin house, He is destined to follow the Dark Lord. She is dating Slytherin's hottest bachelor, He is watching from afar. She is completely oblivious to his affection, He is hopelessly in love with her. The only thing he can count on is the Unbreakable Vow.
And here is the prologue:
“Draco, we can’t. We agreed we’d be friends, just friends, remember? We discussed this the moment we found out at the beginning of the year. You weren’t ready for a relationship, and I was already head-over-heels for someone else. You said staying friends would be best. What’s making you change your mind?” I ask as the cool wind tickles the exposed skin just below my collarbone. I search his eyes for some sort of emotion, but can’t find a thing. They’re steel grey and unblinking; uninviting, and pushing me away, but why are there sparks of hope pulsating in my chest when he looks at me, even though I already have the best as my own? Cole Lestrange, a pureblood Slytherin in my own year is the one I call mine, and Draco knows that.
He kicks the frozen ground full of fall leaves; red, orange, green, they’re scattered everywhere, and yet the trees still seem to have plenty on their branches. It’s an attempt to postpone the conversation, but I won’t let him procrastinate anymore. This ‘jealousy’ thing has been going on since Cole and I started dating, and it’s really irritating; Draco is my best friend! I mean, I crushed on him before, but I’ve moved on, you know? Even though the “Unbreakable Vow” is standing in the way of Cole’s future and mine, we’re going to make it work. I just know it.
Sighing, his breath comes out in white puffs, and he looks me directly in the eye. “I think I love you.”
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Do you like it? Should I post the first chapter? :ouf:
OMG!!! I LOVE THIS! <33 POST THE NEXT CHAP OR I'LL NEVER STOP BOTHERING YOU! :D
May I ask who this is? Who's Draco in Love with?
Last edited by malu (29-12-2012 19:28:23)
Thanks(: haha, Her name is Skylah Noelle Gaunt (she's my own character) and she is a direct descendant of Salazar Slytherin. Here is the picture I based her off of:
And here is the cover photo for the whole story:
You'll find out their age and years in Chapter two :mdr:
Chapter One;
~Flashback~
“Aren’t they just adorable together?” My mom gushed to Narcissa Malfoy, her closest friend. She was referring to Draco and I, but I didn’t bother to care, I was too wrapped up in catching the chocolate frogs that had escaped from our tiny hands.
“They are! They just compliment each other so well, they’ll be the couple of the century!” Narcissa cackled and my mother joined in. Draco watched them for a moment, confused, then returned to the frosted window. A chocolate frog had climbed the windowpane, but he couldn’t reach it. I giggled at his feeble attempts and pushed him lightly out of the way.
“Let me do it.” I said sticking my tongue out at him. He scowled and waited as I backed up a few paces and took a running leap, catching the frog just as it was jumping from the ledge. “Ha!” I exclaimed and smiled.
“Give it back!” He yelled, his eyebrows knit in frustration. I tossed it to him and he smiled again. “Thanks.” He mumbled then dropped the frog.
My mouth dropped in horror, I was five after all, and chocolate frogs were the best things that could ever happen to you at that age. “What are you doing?” Draco shrugged awkwardly, and before I knew it, he embraced me tightly into a hug. I knew from then on we’d always be friends.
~End of Flashback~
“Skylah! You ready? The train leaves in ten minutes!” My mother calls to me from the bottom of the dark mahogany staircase.
“Okay mom!” I say, as I pull apart my closet looking for something, anything, to wear. Finally I decide on a dark green t-shirt that just covers my belly, a pair of worn-out black skinny jeans, and my favorite pair of black-leather boots with faux fur on the top, and a key-shaped necklace from my grandmother. I toss my hair over my shoulder, letting it cascade down my back as I pin parts of it away from my face using my mother’s favorite sparkly black bow.
Placing my Slytherin robe in my carry-on bag along with my phone, lipgloss, some money, and gum, I place the bag over my shoulder and head down the steps. “Okay mother. I’m ready.” I call into the large kitchen, not sure if she’s there or not, but more so just guessing. Father died two years ago and we were left with the huge house, some money in Gringotts, and the ‘Gaunt’ last name. Thankfully it will live on, as Father seemed to have left a bit of himself in my younger brother, Jake Gaunt. Jake is two, and I already know he’ll be a Slytherin like myself. His mischievous side is much worse than mine surprisingly.
“I’m coming!” My mother calls from one of the many hallways and I decide to wait by the tall dark wood fireplace. Within seconds, my mother appears wearing the typical attire for a businesswoman; a collared white dress shirt, sharply ironed black slacks, a dark blazer, and polished black heels. Her light auburn hair is pulled back into a tight bun, and her grey-blue eyes scrutinize my own outfit. I don’t care what she thinks though; I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
“Let’s go.” I say as she picks up one of my bags, and I grab the rest as I hold onto her wrist for dear life as we apparate.
Whoa! I Love it! Are Harry and Everyone also gonna be in it?
Yeah, I'm going to try to incorporate the books into the story but from Skylah's point of view, so, even though she's not in most of the adventures, she'll see them/hear of them. If that makes sense, lol. There's also some really big twists c: haha
Can't wait!
[ Sent you a PM. ]
Your such a good fan fiction story tell sydney!
(: Sounds good Malu!
And Thanks Tori(: You're a really good Blingee maker :D
Cullen, I am officially a fan of yours. And also, Gaunt as in, Tom Riddle's uncle's grandchild?
:aomd_bave:
Thank you Amary(: haha, and yes! I did extensive research so that she was related to the Dark Lord, but no one really knew that. I'm glad you know! Haha :good:
Oh my, you are a VERY good writer!
Really? Thanks Kiera(:
No problem c: I've come up with a new story based on the song "DNA" by Little Mix c: Here's the brainstorming i've done so far:
Crazy scientist lady creates the ‘perfect’ guy using science; she’s mentally unstable; hears voices; Like Frankenstein; He falls in love with her assistant; they run away together and the scientist lady scours the world looking for them.
(My brainstorming is weird, but it works.)
What do y'all think?
I love that song<3 Im a mixer but no one knows :) hehe now its not a secret.
LOL! That's cute. I like it. :D
WOW I really like the story and the song,good job sydney :)
Thanks guys c: i'm going to base the characters off of these pictures:
^^She will be the girl/assistant the 'frankenstein' guy runs away
^^This is the guy who will be revived/This is the frankenstein-like guy.
I couldn't post what I imagine the creepy scientist lady because her picture was too big, but she has scraggly red hair, lots of freckles, and tiny beady blue eyes.
I thoughtit would be perrie or jade whos the assistent. :quoi:
Well i'm not quite sure yet, I might, but I don't know. If I do, I think i'll use Jesy though c:
Ooh, nice choice for the frakenstein-guy! I can totally see him as someone who's been revived.
cullen97 wrote:
Thank you Amary(: haha, and yes! I did extensive research so that she was related to the Dark Lord, but no one really knew that. I'm glad you know! Haha :good:
LOL. ;D
kieramsmileys wrote:
Ooh, nice choice for the frakenstein-guy! I can totally see him as someone who's been revived.
Thanks Kiera :)