It's been a while ladies, but lately things have been very messy.

I was helping a friend move to another state only to come back and find the internet not working back home...I was tempted to go to the nearest McDonald's and use the wifi there to check my emails and other things...But something happened and I was seriously not in the mood to go out or meet anyone.

A few days back a problem started between me and a friend. While I usually try to be there for everyone there are times when I do need to have my 'Me' time. She was having some problems and we, My other friends and I, tried to be there for her for a long time...I, then, got busy and wasn't there as often as earlier. I didn't mean it and she knows.

Anyways, I noticed she was treating me coldly, so I confronted her only to have her burst at me. She, then, noticed we were creating a scene so she told me to forget about it all...But how could I? She had already said some very hurtful things. Anyways, I avoided her and our mutual friend for a while...Mainly because I felt it was very uncomfortable between us and the other friends.

Later, when  I was stronger, I confronted them again and asked for some time we could talk things out. I was surprised when they kept blaming me for things that didn't even have anything to do with the main problem. They said that I was cold and preferred to keep them in the shadows. That I wasn't an honest person. (I am quoting here) Not that I lie, but I wasn't open. Anyways, in the end, they said that everything was okay (I highly doubt that) and the conversation ended right there with us trying to be normal again.

That hurt a lot though. Mainly because I was open with them more than with anyone else. It's true I tend to not trust people easily and they know what happened to me before that caused this. I usually am nice and friendly with everyone, but never trust people until some time passes by. I did trust them and shared everything with them (except when I felt there was a secret that I couldn't...or when it's some family matter that's private).

I don't think I hide things from them. Not intentionally at least...I tried to be honest with myself and try to figure things out, but...I don't think I can be more open that I am.

What I need advice about is...What would you in my place? What if I can't be more open? Do you think I am missing something here? I really am confused since I never even realized before how I am not very open.