Several people here know that I like writing fanfics on the side. I prefer working on alternate universes that usually have a more serious tone than the original world. This fanfic is the one that I'm currently working on and surprisingly, I've been getting good feedback so far. Views are relatively high and well...comments are positive.

I thought I'd share it with you, ladies, mainly because I'd like to get feedback. The first 4 chapters were already released on fanfic.net, but I'd like to start posting the new chapters here first so that maybe I'd get beta reading and feedback before announcing it to the masses :D
Anyways, I think I don't have anything that goes against the board rules, but if you spot anything, let me know and I'll edit that.

Here's the first chapter. Any feedback is appreciated!! THANKS!!!!

Chapter 1 : This is my case

Aimlessly, I lost myself to the internet. Jumping from one page to the other, my eyes stared idly at the screen.

There was nothing new. Lying … Bad Mouthing … Stealing … Killing … No, there was nothing new. Bored of all this nonsense, I closed the laptop and walked to the window. A thunderstorm was approaching judging by the dark sky and the rumble of thunder I could hear from a distance.

I could see my reflection in the glass. Blonde locks fell messily on my face. My crystal blue eyes stared coldly right back at me. I had lost all interest in this world. Ever since that night…There just didn't seem any reason to go on.

Closing my eyes, scenes started to play themselves in front of me.


"No. No you won't go outside." Her usually soft amber eyes were wide with fury.

"I'd like to see you stop me. I've had enough of your attitude. I've had enough of you not caring. I've had enough of you trying to change me." I yelled grabbing my rain coat from the closet hastily.

"Matt. I am not trying to change you. I am just worried. Matt. I care about you."

My hand faltered on top of the door knob for a second before I finally decided to open the door and scoffed at her, "Yeah right." With that, I slammed the door behind my back and walked outside. I could hear her calling my name behind the closed door, but I didn't turn back.


That night I came back…But it was too late.

The doorbell snapped me out of my state. Who could it be? I hadn't been expecting anyone.

Hearing the bell ring again, I walked to the door and opened it only to find no one outside. And through the heavy curtain of rain, I couldn't even see anyone walking. Something caught my eyes, however. There was a box on the fading 'welcome' mat. It was wrapped as a gift box. My birthday was months away. A mistake, perhaps?

After looking around again and seeing no one, I bent down, took the gift box and went back inside making sure to close the door behind my back.

I looked down at the box and saw no card. My curiosity got the best of me as it always did and I finally unwrapped the box. Inside was a single white rose and a note.


Sometimes things aren't always what they seem.

Sometime it's not too late.

Sometimes you can make things right

Even when you're worlds apart.

I need your help.

Will you accept the call?

If so, leave the empty box outside.

If not, bring me back my rose. Forget about it all.


I didn't understand. Was this some sort of a trick? A bad one, at that. Who would walk in this heavy rain to deliver this?

Intrigued by this all,  I decided to see where this was going and left the empty box outside.

…

In the morning and on my way to work, I noticed that the box was gone. But didn't give it any more thought. The night before, I had decided that this didn't make any sense and that it would most probably turn out to be fake. But something inside me was hoping it was real. I needed something interesting in my life. This was the first exciting to happen to me ever since Serena had passed away.

After closing the door, I headed for the car and went through the usual morning routine of buying a cup of coffee, the morning newspaper and the usual traffic jam.

In about half an hour, I was at the office. Sam was there of course with another one of his usual female companions. Seeing me stepping in, he straightened himself and asked, "Have you finished the Heffingtons' case yet?"

"No 'Good Morning'?" I asked sitting down at my office.

He turned to the woman he had with him and said, "See how hard it is to have good assistants nowadays? I give him a small task and he never finishes it in time."

I was half tempted to retort, but I bit my tongue and decided against it. I needed this job. And sadly, I've dug myself way too deep with Sam that I couldn't get out now. For years, I had worked on his cases while he took all the credit. You might wonder why in the world we had such an agreement. It was simple really. Sam was the son of a famous detective and luckily for him, after the death of his father, most people trusted him with their cases. I, on the other hand, while I was smarter than him, was a nobody. I tried having my own office for a while, but didn't get any cases. After marrying Serena, I needed to support us. And with a child on the way, I decided to accept the truth, swallow my pride and work for Sam.

"I expect the case to be done by tonight." He demanded putting on his coat and leading the woman outside.

…

Later that night and as I checked the mailbox, I noticed from the corner of my eyes another box on the welcome mat. I hurried to pick it up and went inside to see what it contained for me this time. There was another white rose and another note.


You need me and I need you

As the clock strikes midnight, he'll be on the move

Don't try to stop him for it's too late

Tomorrow, however is another date


There were no more instructions. I couldn't understand what this had to do with anything…My heart sank as I started to feel that this was getting me nowhere. That it really was a waste of time.

Against all sanity, however, I still clung to the belief I still had within and decided to leave the box outside again that night.

…

In the next morning and as I worked on yet another case, Sam watched the news. I had a feeling he didn't even understand what they were saying. I had no idea why he was watching. But I was lucky he did.

Something caught my attention. There was news of another woman being murdered. Her neighbours heard her scream around midnight, but by the time they arrived they saw her on the ground dead…With a white rose on top of her heart…Just like Serena.

At that moment, however, I realized that the gifts were not a trick. Something much more serious was going on.

"This is my case." I whispered to myself.

Last edited by darkelfqueen (2013-12-03 15:07:18)